Gamble of Rahul Ghandi....

During the first general election of 1952, a candidate of the Rama Rajya Parishad who was standing against Pandit Nehru asked him why he did not support a ban on cow slaughter. “Don’t you love cows?” he asked. Nehru replied with his British sense of humour, “I love horses too.” That was his way of putting the distance between loving an animal and deifying it.

Rama Rajya is again in the news with the BJP claiming that this is the one ideal of good governance that all Indians have always cherished. So it will be Rama Rajya, Rama Setu and Rama Mandir for the BJP? It shows how out of touch with India the party has become.

The Dalits cannot have much love for Rama Rajya after what happened to Sambuka in the Ramayana. Even the OBCs may object to the upper caste bias of the epic and modern women may not want a husband who treats them so badly as the hero of Ramayana treated his wife.

Also has the BJP learned nothing from the Rama Setu debate with DMK chief M Karunanidhi? The Ramayana is a different text in North India from what it is in the South. The anti-Brahman movement in the South was virulently against the North Indian version of Hinduism. The BJP has a long way to go before it realises that Hindu society lives on division and sub-division. It has survived for centuries without a single political authority precisely because of its ability to prevent any single group to get so large as to dominate. Hinduism is not a unifying creed.

Now after sixty years of sovereignty, we are once again seeing the same fragmenting tendencies rule the party structure. Like some ancient dynasty, the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty ruled over all of India for 42 years till 1989 with only an occasional usurper. Since 1989, the dynasty has never been in full power. It has to adjust to the demands of many regional subahdars and local nawabs.

Luckily for India, democracy thrives without single party dominance. Indeed, one way to admire what India has achieved is its ability to stay united without a strong central authority. Any exclusive powerful authority would have to exclude many or at least treat the core elite better than the periphery. That was what Congress did for its first 42 years. It looked after the upper crust and fed crumbs to the Dalits and the OBCs. When they revolted, the Congress edifice fell apart.

Now each group has its own party and wants a piece of the cake. The old vertical hierarchical caste society is becoming horizontal, though it is still as divided as it was before. There are occasional small unifying movements as with the Yadavs and Paswan in Bihar/UP. But they are local, not national. Nor does the BSP, despite the charisma of its leader, unite all Dalits

The Third Front is an acceptance of this cellular character of Indian society. Class is not reliable as a unifying factor as the Left should know by now. So a double negative factor —anti-BJPism plus anti-Congressism—is the unifying platform. Yet this has to compete against each separate negative. Anti-BJPism is called secularism and can combine many fragments as it did under the UPA. Anti-Congressism is not as strong as it used to be in the Seventies. So the NDA is fragile.

The Congress has sensed this asymmetry. So it is going it alone and contesting as many seats as it can. It is trying to become truly national again. So, rather than accept three or four seats from Lalu Prasad whose star is sinking in any case, it will contest almost 30 seats out of 40 in Bihar and similarly in UP as well. Even randomly it may do better than what its ‘allies’ will grant.

So all the bets are off in India’s favourite sport. The Congress is casting aside old allies like the RJD and Ram Vilas Paswan who have been marginalised in Bihar by Nitish Kumar. It will abandon DMK at the first chance since AIADMK chief Jayalalithaa will do better. The NCP is on probation because it may lose to the Shiv Sena in Maharashtra with whom it has been flirting lately.

The UPA is dead; a new UPA will arise from its ashes. This is the Rahul Gandhi gamble.

Prem, Panchyat aur Aatankwad

Idhar khabar aaye hay ki love bada hi marak ho gay hay, janlayva ho gaya hay. khojbin karnay walo nay paya hay ki aatankwad bhi utnay logo ki jaan nahi lay raha jitna love lay rahay hay. Ab aatankwad kay sakta hay ki mujhay to baymatlab hi badnaaam kiya ja raha hay varna aap bata do kaun kam hay. Pichlay dino Anna nay hi kaha tha ki aatankwad utna khatarnaak nahi hay jitna ki bhrastachar hay. Koshish karo to aur bhi chiz nikal aayegi jo aatankwad say jada khatarnak aur jada marak lagaygi, jaysay bhuk aur garibi.
khayar, love ko log chahay kitna hi masum manay vo hamesha hi khatarnak raha hay. Uttar Bharat k gaon may kinay hi nojawan ladkay ladkiyon nay love kiya aur izzat ki bhet chad gay. Panchyat choro, dakuon aur badmasho kay khilaf parmaan nahi sunatay, fatwa jari nahi kartay, dusaray mamlo may maut ki saja sunanay ka hak sirf Adalat ko hay, par mamla agar love ka ho to ye panchyat bhi maut ki saja suna dayti hay. Aur pura gaon unki maut ka tamasha dhakta hay.
Idhar sehar may to ishq ekdam hi kamina ho gaya hay. Love kay naam par goliya chalayi ja rahi hay. Chaku maray ja rehay hay. Tezaab phayka ja raha hay. Jispar martay hay uski ko martay hay.
Sachmuch ye to aag ka dariya hay. easay may aatankwad ko lagay haat mukadama kar dayna chahiye ki duniya may love par hi sab say jada film bani hay, batao aatnkwaad par kini bani. Love par hi sabsay jada ganay likhya aur gaye jatay hay, aatnkwaad par batao kitnay ganay likhay gay..........

And here’s wishing you all a Happy Women’s day!

And here’s wishing you all a Happy Women’s day!

History of International Women's day

International Women's day was born at a time of great social turbulence and crisis. . In the years before 1910, from the turn of the 20th century, women in industrially developing countries were entering paid work in some numbers. Their jobs were sex segregated, mainly in textiles, manufacturing and domestic services where conditions were wretched and wages were low.. Trade unions were developing and industrial disputes broke out, including among sections of non-unionised women workers. In Europe, the flames of revolution were being kindled.

Major demands of early Women's movement were increase in wages,better working conditions and the right to vote in National and provincial elections.

Since its Women’s day, and the cell phone has been flooding with messages from people wishing their love one, I thought I’ll take a moment and think about this day and if it means anything to me.

My passion for womens’ issues is no secret, and being influenced by a lot of personal stories of men and women around me right now, this is what I have to say today.

DON’T. Apologize for who you are, who you want to be, what you want. Its your right. It is your life. Claim it.

DON’T. Let marriage be the high point in your life. There’s more to life than that one event. Really.

DON’T. Think of the uterus or what it can /cannot do as a measure of your success/failure as a person. It is an important part of life yes, but so is everything else. Please don’t let motherhood or the lack of it define your worth as a person or a woman.

DON”T. Compromise on your values and principles in the face of adversity. Values are worth having only if have the strength to stand up for them! You are not worth the values otherwise!

DON’T. Work professionally half-heartedly. Being a woman is no excuse for bad performance and if you take it up, you better do it well!

DON’T. Ever tolerate a bad relationship. Even if its marriage, its not worth it. Do yourself ( and your children, if applicable, a favour) and get out. NOW. There is no excuse to stay in a bad relationship, EVER.

DON’T. Put yourself last. Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Eat well. Live well.

Too many women I know, do everything that they need to,to meet today’s demands, juggling careers and homes, money and motherhood. And yet, when it comes to parameters for judging their own success, they sell themselves short. So many women are still spending far too much time, trying to mould themselves according to others’ expectations and being unhappy in the bargain.

And what about one’s expectations from oneself? Why still the unending need to seek approval outside? Why be so harsh on yourself? Why try so hard if its breaking you? What for??

The only one who has a right to judge you, has to be you. Should be you! Think. Think beyond the usual. Think about what you really want, what makes you happy. And go ahead and get it.

We have all spent far too much of our life being the people we are told we should be, doing things like it were a universal rule. To study, and there again, choosing to study something over the other, getting a job, getting married, having babies. If you want it all, great. But even if you don’t, its equally great.

Celebrate the person you are, fall in love with yourself. Make your own path, choose your own way.

And most of all, hope you find peace. Hope you stay happy. Always.

It is time for the sons and daughter especially the daughters to get up and put their foot down. They should be the one to stop their parents to pander to the egos of the inlaws by giving them lavish gifts on various occasions. The young generation should come forward and vehemently oppose the practice of such rituals.

The women have come a long way from being the dormant door mats. We have our own identity. Then why not do something to do away with such rituals and save our parents from lifelong tensions of meeting the demands in the name of customs and rituals.
Wake up girls; don’t let the parents feel that the birth of a girl is a lifelong burden on them.

“Chup hain to yeh na samjho hum sada ko haare hain ! Raakh ke neeche jal rahe abhi bhi angaarey hain!”

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY FRIENDS.... JUST GO THROUGH MY BLOG. FRIENDS, CAN BE GOOD SPOUSE?

And you thought your friend knows every beat of your heart! Well, let's say almost.

After Dil Toh Pagal Hai all of us debated about can your friend be your love interest?

And then Kuchh Kuchh hota hai came and revised it all over again with none other

King Khan declaring, my best friend will be my wife

… and the question remains. Talking to a couple of friends the word 'awkward'

popped up again and again.

"You know it would be so awkward looking at him or her that way".

"Are you kidding me, I have never looked at him that way."

"We know each other just too well, we can't get married"

"My mom loves her, ummmm… I am thinking"

And the killer one - "I don't think we can make love."

Well, well all you people out there whatever happened to the promises of being the

best friend to your spouse.

Despite hearing many stories of successful marriages of two 'best friends' this still

remains an elusive question. Valentine's Day is around and now is your decision

making time. We try to reveal few pros and cons:

Why is it a good idea?

Thought it out - If you have considered the thought of proposing your best friend,

you have already seen him or her in that mould. Thought of getting up with them

every morning and going to sleep looking at the same face. Point is you have already

internalized the idea so go for it.

Known devil - Okay let me be honest, I am borrowing this thought from a friend. A

known devil is better than the unknown. All of us who still have not committed

because of the fear of the unknown - what would they be like in bed? Will I like

kissing him? Am I attracted to him? Will she turn into a nag immediately after we say

our vows? Etc etc. These questions are valid even if you get married to a stranger, you

never know how they kiss, till you kiss them. Does that mean you would go on a

kissing spree? You know her sensitivities, his tantrums, religious values, spending

habits, his mom's attitude, his friends, her colleagues - you won't know any of this if

you marry a stranger. So, go ahead take the plunge!

I know you and you know me - He or she knows how many men you have seen and

she knows the list of your love interests, these and many more, which come naturally

to friends, including shopping with each other. So, unless you are really adventurous

kinds who gets a kick only being around strangers, it be nice to have a person

around who KNOWs you so well. And apart from all the angelic stuff, saves you the

trouble of explaining a stranger-to-be-husband/wife about your past relationships.

Don't want to be with my mirror - Okay so he or she knows you a bit too well. You

want to be with a person who knows everything about you. I would rather be with

someone who you can explore and love fresh as a lover and not a

stranger-turned-lover. Great, keep looking for that elusive stranger.

Sex? - Having sex with a person who knows you is always make you comfort.Taking

off from the weirdest one, you can't imagine being in bed with a stranger.

Transition from a buddy to a seducer/seductress, may not be a very easy thing

to see. What if you burst out laughing while in the act? I understand. This is

matter

of deep thought. Do keep thinking!

Serial marriage - You are a social butterfly and you have many friends who fall in this

category, will you get married to all of them? Not every 'good friend' can be turned

into a spouse. Nice people are just nice, whether as a friend or a spouse, so why risk

losing a friend.

Well, well, well… that's enough of strategy. In the matter of marriage I would still

trust the judgment of heart over mind. If your heart can imagine a life with him or

her

and both your bank balances put together will create a good life - I would say go for it.

Your heart will guide you through from their drawing room to kitchen to bed.

Female Foeticide: Need To Change The Mindset Of People

‘Mom Save Me’ – Is Someone Listening? This is the voice of a child who wants to see this world. The child who is getting scanned in an ultrasound centre for gender determination and won’t be surviving if not a boy. This is serious problem now and I am talking about female foeticide – one of many ill causes which exist in current evolving stage of human living.

The problem is far more serious than the steps being taken by government. Everyone is well aware of judicial system of Indian Law, by the time the cases are solved; many people have already left this world. Put yourself a question, if the same would have been done, when your mother or sister was coming in this world and had been aborted just because it was female womb, how would things have been for you?

According to a recent report by the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) up to 50 million girls and women are missing from India' s population as a result of systematic gender discrimination in India. In most countries in the world, there are approximately 105 female births for every 100 males. In India, there are less than 93 women for every 100 men in the population. The accepted reason for such a disparity is the practice of female infanticide in India, prompted by the existence of a dowry system which requires the family to pay out a great deal of money when a female child is married. For a poor family, the birth of a girl child can signal the beginning of financial ruin and extreme hardship. However this anti-female bias is by no means limited to poor families. Much of the discrimination is to do with cultural beliefs and social norms. These norms themselves must be challenged if this practice is to stop. Diagnostic teams with ultrasound scanners which detect the sex of a child advertise with catchlines such as spend 600 rupees now and save 50,000 rupees later. The implication is that by avoiding a girl, a family will avoid paying a large dowry on the marriage of her daughter. According to UNICEF, the problem is getting worse as scientific methods of detecting the sex of a baby and of performing abortions are improving. These methods are becoming increasing available in rural areas of India, fuelling fears that the trend towards the abortion of female foetuses is on the increase Growing menace of Female Foeticide: The social, cultural and religious fiber of India is pre-dominantly patriarchal contributing extensively to the secondary status of women. The patrilineal social structure based on the foundation that the family runs through a male and makes male a precious commodity that needs to be protected and given special status. Another important pillar of the patriarchal structure is marriage wherein women are given sub-ordinate status having no say in the running of their life or any control over their body or bodily integrity. Marriage is also considered as a process where by the burden of the father is passed on to the husband for a very high price. The dowry or groom price is so staggeringly high irrespective of the class structure that generations may have to toil to repay the debts incurred during marriage. All of this has contributed to a low status for women in the society to such an extent that even the birth of a girl child in a family is sought to be avoided. A deleterious fall out of the subjugated position of women is their vulnerability to violence, rape, sexual abuse dowry harassment, domestic violence, trafficking etc with little or no mechanisms of combating the same either by way of effective laws and implementation or civil society action. Various methods were found to eliminate the girl child after her birth like starving her, crushing her under bed or giving poison etc. Pertinently the responsibility for killing the child was fixed on the mother/women as she was considered responsible for bringing the girl child into existence. The causes for elimination of girl child indicate that the reasons are similar and different depending upon the geographical location in which female infanticide is practiced. An exorbitant dowry demand is one of the main reasons for female infanticide. Some of the other reasons are the belief that it is only the son who can perform the last rites, lineage and inheritance runs through the male line, sons will look after parents in old age, men are bread winners etc. Strong male preference and the consequent elimination of the female has continued to increase rather than decline with the spread of education. The recent technological developments in medical practice combined with a vigorous pursuit of growth of the private health sector have led to the mushrooming of a variety of sex-selective services. This has happened not only in urban areas but deep within rural countryside also. Female infanticide in most places has been replaced by female foeticide. Female foeticide or sex selective abortion is the elimination of the female foetus in the womb itself. The sex of the foetus is determined by methods like amniocentesis, chrion villus Biopsy and now by the most popular technique ultrasonograghy. Once the sex of the foetus is determined, if it is a female foetus, it is aborted. The increase in female foeticide has seen the proportionate decrease in female sex ratio which has hit an all time low especially in the 0-6 age group and if this decline is not checked the very delicate equilibrium of nature can be permanently destroyed. Sex-determination tests and female foeticide: The most commonly used sex-determination test is ammnicentesis.It was used as an aid to detect any abnormality in the unborn child. But over the years it has been used to determine the sex of the foetus. In India since 1978 the test is being used as a sex determination or sex preselection test. Since then the test has become extremely popular and has led to a mushrooming of private clinics which perform the test all over the country. Earlier doctors employed the controversial amniocentesis test done between 14-18 weeks to determine the sex of the foetus.The ultrasound technique has also been improved. The sex of a foetus can be determined by more sophisticated machines within 13-14 weeks of pregnancy by trans-vaginal sonography and by 14 to 16 weeks through abdominal ultrasound. These methods have rendered sex determination cheap and easy. Some sophisticated method like Erison method which separates the X and Y Chromos from the sperm and then Injects back only Y chromos into the womb to ensure a boy have also been developed. And they cost around Rupees 15,000 to 25,000. The cultural preferences for sons rather than daughters have skewed sex ratios in India. Census data show a consistent drop in the sex ratio (933F:1000M).The intensity of sex ratio imbalance in the 0-6 age group in some states are Punjab (793),Haryana(820),Himachal Pradesh(897),Gujarat(878)The menace of Female foeticide started emerging and spreading all over northern and western India and later on all over the country. Today female foeticide is no more an urban phenomenon, rural people are also getting more and more involved in it and come all the way long to cities to get these tests done. Whether Female Foeticide is Justied or not? These unscrupulous murders of female or girls is justified on two grounds. First, it reduces the population and second is that the poor parents will be saved from the expenses which they would have to incur in the marriage of their daughter if she had born. So the murder of a female foetus is considered to be a solution to two major problems i.e. population problem and dowry. But how far are these grounds justified. India was the first country to adopt family planning as an official programme to reduce the birthrate. But population of the country is still growing. One of the reasons for the growth of population in India is the desire for a son. Today the sex-determination tests have provided an easy way out to know whether or not a woman will get a son. Each time a woman gets pregnant she can have the sex of the foetus determined and get it aborted if it happens to be a female child. Abortion was punishable under Indian Penal Code but it was legalized with the passing of Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act, 1971.This act along with its revised rules was envisaged as a mile stone in the modernization of Indian society through laws. Doctors are against the ban on amniocentesis because it will lead to an underground practice in the field. None of these arguments given in favour of the continuance of sex determination tests holds good. It is true that people should have every right to plan their families. If a man has a daughter and he wants son let him have it. But difficulty lies if he wants son only. How far it is correct to permit him to do so. The sex determination test is used to destroy the female foetus than to control the number of children or to have a child of the sex of one’s choice. In India the choice is always male child and it is the female only that is unwanted child. Though it is the individual interest that is paramount but he has a duty towards the society also as a member of the society. The argument that banning the test would lead to underground practice does not mean that no law should be passed to check it. And the argument that it is a symbol of female emancipation is a nullity. Because how far is it just to be too liberal to one generation of women that they have right even to have the children of their own choice and too cruel to the other generation to which the very right to take birth and come into existence be denied. If female foeticide is continued the way it is continuing, it will render all the women and child health programmes a nullity. PNDT (Regulation and Prevention of Misuse) Act-1994: Due to excessive female infanticide in the northern and western states of India there were strong agitations and protests to curb the evil of female foeticide.The state of Maharashtra became the first in country to ban pre-natal sex determination through the enactment of Maharashtra regulation of prenatal diagnostics techniques act. Similar efforts at the national level resulted in the enactment of the Central pre-natal diagnostic techniques (Regulation and prevention of misuse) Act 1994. The act has two aspects viz., regulatory and preventive. It seeks to regulate the use of pre-natal diagnostic techniques for legal or medical purposes and prevent misuse for illegal purposes. The act provides for the setting up of various bodies along with their composition powers and functions. There is a central supervisory board, appropriate authorities and advisory committees. Enforcement and effectiveness: In India, the policy environment is supportive of the reproductive choices of women and men. The medical termination of pregnancy act is legal and it allows for induced abortions where pregnancy carries grave injury to women’s health. A negative outcome of the PNDT act was that the practice of sex determination was driven nonetheless and the availability of services proliferated correspondingly. Ultra sound machines continued to be widely available and simple to use. In such an environment it is very difficult to enforce a law which sought to control information that travels through informal channels and can operate secretly. Law cannot control the information that is conveyed through a mere smile or frown face. Unsurprisingly the enforcement if law becomes weak. there is still utmost controversy as to whom will serve as the watch dog to control the misuse of the practice of female foeticide and its implementation is difficult and considering it can only be the doctor who carries out the abortion or mother of the foetus who can be punished. This is very ambiguous as many women are indeed forced by family members to go ahead with an abortion of a female foetus.Thus once again putting the life of thousands of women in danger. Other reasons for limited effectiveness of the law include lack of political will to ensure enforcement. Experience has shown that in general the role of legislation is subverting a social practice is limited. The ministry of health and family welfare had proposed a series of amendment to the 1994 act. Although there was a central act regulating and preventing the misuse of pre-natal diagnostic techniques the menace of female foeticide continued. So there was need for much more stringent rules to curb this evil. These were given parliamentary approval. The act was amended in 2002 and in 2003 Rules were framed by the central government under section 32 of the act. These rules may be called Pre-conception and pre-natal diagnostic techniques (Prohibition of sex selection) rules 1996. Judicial Responses: Reports reveal that baby girls are neglected, malnourished or even killed at birth. Anecdotal evidence suggests that sex selecting clinics and the abortion of girls re still wide spread. Tougher legislation have made it possible for the authorities to crack down staging raids on pre-prenatal clinics to check records and look for evidence of illegal sex selection. Officials admit that it is hard to find evidence. Pre-natal scans to check for abnormalities are legal and it can be impossible to prove that a doctor has infact used one to reveal baby’s sex. The recent study has reported that India has lost 10 million girls over the last two decades. After the enactment of the act in 1994, in the year 2006 there was first conviction. Where a doctor and a lab technician were sentenced to two year of imprisonment under the act. Public interest litigation was also file in Supreme Court by concerned health activists. Centre for enquiry into Health and allied themes [CEHAT] v. Union of India. AIR 2001 SC 2007 In response to the petition, the court issued in notices to the central and state governments to file replies to central government. The central Supervisory board, State Governments under the administrations. And to appoint appropriate authorities at district and sub-district level. Directions stated that the list of the members appointed should be published in the print and electronic media. Appropriate authorities were further directed to send a quarterly report to the central supervisory board. public awareness against the practice of pre-natal sex determination. Supreme Court directed state governments to take further steps to enforce the law and the secretary. Department of family welfare was directed to file an affidavit indicating the status of actions taken. Supreme Court directed 9 companies to supply the information of the machines sold to various clinics in the last 5 years. Details of about 11,200 machines from all these companies and fed into a common data base. Addresses received from the manufacturers were also sent to concerned states and to launch prosecution against those bodies using ultrasound machines that had filed to get themselves registered under the act. The court directed that the ultrasound machines/scanners be sealed and seized if they were being used without registration. Three associations’ viz., The Indian Medical Association [IMA], Indian Radiologist Association [IRA], and the Federation of Obstetricians and Gynecologists Societies of India [FOGSI] were asked to furnish details of members using these machines. Since the supreme court directive 99 cases were registered and in 232 cases ultrasound machines, other equipment and records were seized Today there is an estimated 25000 ultrasound machines in the country, of these 15000 have been registered. State governments have communicated to the central government in writing the according to official reports received, they are satisfied that sex determination services are no longer being provided in their respective states.[7] However, it is widely believed that while these services are no longer openly available their clandestine availability and utilization continues all over the country. The observation of the National inspection and Monitoring Commission confirm this situation and endorse the need for stricter enforcement of laws. Conclusion: “Yatra Naranthya Pujyathe Raman The Tatra Devatha” has been our culture. In our country a girl is worshiped as a Devi on one hand and denied her existence on the other as if she has no right to live. Time has perhaps come for us to get rid of male chauvinism and treat children as gifts of nature regardless of their gender. We cannot imagine a society in the future where there will be only males and no females. The society will be full of crimes and evils. Only if legislations enacted in this behalf are not sufficient. Orthodox views regarding women need to be changed. The PNDT Act should penalize and punish the violators of this crime strictly. The pernicious acts of female foeticide and coercive abortions have to end before women becomes endangered species. Today in the town of India people use to say Prabhuji mein tori binti karoon Paiyan Paroon bar bar Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Na Dije Narak Dije Chahe Dar... Oh, God, I beg of you, I touch your feet time and again, Next birth don't give me a daughter, Give me Hell instead... --An old Folk Song From Uttar Pradesh.

Suicide: Problem which our country is facing......

..Just wanted to let you know that a young girl just wrote me a letter and told me that she was ready to end her life, but after going through my article she decided to live. Her life is very hard but I have hope for her. She wrote, "I was on your article, because I almost did it yesterday. Almost. It actually saved me."

I've read lots of articles on suicide, as I've tried to come to terms with exactly what it is that drives an apparently rational human being, sometimes someone who appears to be happy with everything going for them, to take their own life. One thing that I've concluded is that there are many different ways that someone can be driven to suicide.

One thing is for certain; suicidal thoughts are always precipitated by long or short-term periods of emotional or physical turmoil. However, those who attempt to commit suicide do not always do so amidst a big fanfare of showy emotionalism. They don't always mope around crying and sobbing before doing the deed. Sometimes suicidal thoughts come as a small, quiet voice in the dead of the night. Not a huge compulsion to do something terminal, but a quietly insistent suggestion from some destructive and deceptive part of your brain. And other times, suicidal thoughts come as a sudden impulse upon which people act before they have time to realize that they're not being rational. Before they realize that things won't always be as bad as they are now.

Sometimes such thoughts or compulsions come as a result of chemical imbalances in your brain causing depression and irrational thinking. Other times, they come as a result of emotional or physical assaults such as the death of a family member, splitting up with a partner, moving to a new, seemingly hostile town or school. Still other times, suicidal thoughts may come as a result of publicity in the media, from our peers or on the web.

I know it's not politically correct to talk about this, but I'm of the belief that people who've committed suicide, or to abused kids can actually place the thought of suicide so uppermost in people's minds that they might see it as a viable option ahead of getting counseling or talking to someone. My suggestion to you is to stay well clear of these rings. They may have started out as self healing, self-help circles, but rather than elevating the mood of the general community, they eat at everyone's psyche like a cancer, painting a falsely negative picture of the world in which we live. Bad things do happen in the world, it doesn't mean to finish our life, in two minutes.

The highest suicide rate in the world has been reported among young women in South India by a new study. The research is of major importance, according to the World Health Organization, as it brings to light Asia's suicide problem.The average suicide rate for young women aged between 15 to 19 living around Vellore in Tamil Nadu was 148 per 100,000. This compares to just 2.1 suicides per 100,000 in the same group in the UK.

Suicide is not a pretty picture.
It's very easy to create a glamorized view of suicide. You might imagine yourself being found, serene like you fell asleep, a note explaining to your sobbing friends and family how you couldn't take the pain and how sorry you are. You imagine you'll be missed and there'll be tributes, but that's only half the picture when it comes to suicide.

But it isn't like that. Suicide is frequently gory. Violent suicides leave blood and worse to clean up. It's traumatic, even for professionals to deal with. Less violent ones still end up soiling themselves in death. That's right - you'll shit and pee yourself. Sorry to be blunt, but you need to know the full picture.

This is not some scene from Romeo and Juliet: it's life and it's not pretty. Your suicide scene will be forever etched into the memory of those who find you. It's not a nice way to find someone, and it's not a nice way to be found. Your life is too important to throw away.

As for the aftermath, your friends may hold memorials, but many of them will forever be tortured by guilt and by questions. The newspapers will almost certainly not report your death because they have a policy against publicizing suicide. Many families are literally torn apart by the suicide of a child. The psychological reverberations of your death will hit the lives of many people around you like an explosion, and although they may continue to live, some of them may never, ever get over it. In fact, you should face the possibility that your death may affect people so profoundly that others may actually take their own lives as a result. It's not uncommon.

Now I know that a guilt trip is definitely not what you need when you're already feeling low, but you absolutely need to realize that there are repercussions that extend far, far beyond your own life. You also need to realize that there are almost certainly people who love you, right now. And even if that's not true and you've had a rough life, there are many people who care about you - many of them you haven't even met yet. Also,
there are literally hundreds of thousands of people in your country, who can love someone EXACTLY LIKE YOU. You'll probably never meet them all, but you only need to meet one or two to make your life incredible.

Suicide rates differ between boys and girls. Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys, and tend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four times as often girls, perhaps because they tend to use more lethal methods, such as firearms, hanging, or jumping from heights.

And my heart goes out to those who are left behind, because I known that they suffer terribly. Children in particular are left under a cloud of "differentness," all the more terrifying because it can never be fully explained or lifted. The immediate family of the victim is left wide open to tidal waves of guilt, "What did I fail to do that I should have done? What did I fail to do that I should of done? What did I do that was wrong?"

To such grieving persons I can only say, "Lift up your heads and your hearts, surely you did your best. And surely the loved one who is gone did his best, for as long as he could. Remember, now that his battles and torments are over, do not judge him, and do not presume to fathom the mind of God where one is his children is concerned."

Live in Relationship.....

Today, many people have negative aspects on live in relationship, many of us think that it is not good for Indian culture because it gives negative thinking in young generation. No doubt our supreme court too had given her decision on its favor that live in relationship is not an offence, but still many of us take live in relationship as it will effect the mind of young people leading to decay the moral values of country's ethos.

I want to ask question to them who are still against the couples who stay with each other before marriage. I want to ask the society why she treat them like a strange human being, only because they have not married, but i want to tell them that according to hindu mythology Lord Krishna and Radha too stay with each other. According to me first we have to think why couples wants to go in live in relationship... before raising finger on them. and why supreme court too gave her decision on its favor, and to know the reason first we have to go through the history of his or her life. This is very true that today we all want emotional attachment, and when it comes to opposite sex emotional attachment spread its sheet. Because now a days we all are going through loads of mental stress, and in this journey we want to sit for few minutes along with the person whom we think comfort.

Today in our country India, more than 85% of students peruse their school life at boarding, they came to know the right and wrong aspects of life in boarding only, and in this journey the role of affection and love changes. As they are away from parents they think shall I say this point to my parents or not or shall I say that point to my parents or not, and the question comes what they will think, and the answer which mind gives is that No, not to say because they will become tensed. No matter what the point is based about, from this gap starts and we start sharing those points with our friends as well as when it comes to opposite sex we start feeling much more comfortable. After boarding they comes into college life, and the things changes the strictness of boarding just evaporates. There are many students who starts their hostel life from college, and the same thing starts with them too. Friends become care taker. And as i said earlier when we come in contact with opposite sex, we become more comfortable. A stage comes when that the single person becomes the whole world for him or her and finally we give the name of love.

Now the point comes of commitment, because we all know that loving is quite different thing and commitment is quite different. There will be multiple answers for this "WHY" when the both person love each other and have committed too then WHY they want to go in a live in relationship, its better to marry. But as its well said that," Its better to have a live in relation ship rather than having a divorced life." Because there are many cases pending in our courts which shows that after getting married the thing and mutual understanding didn't worked and a happy love life which was before marriage comes on a stage of divorce. So to make sure that they are compatible before going through a life time commitment to each other they opt live in relationship. Because research says that most couple who live together will get married some day, and within five years slightly have of them definitely also do. AS they are in love so they want to spend more time with each other before marriage.

According to study spending two three hours with your love is quite different thing and spending twenty four hours is different, you know the person a lot. Now society raises the question of traditional and customs. As this not suits to Indian society. But history is witness that when ever any change had taken place, first this society comes as a speed breaker, either it is Sati pratha, Child marriage or any thing, because this is fact the generation who revolts against the system faces the problem and the next coming generation grow in a new soil with a new rays of sun light.

The study receive a great deal of publicity because conservative groups use them to try to revive traditional marriage, with no cohabitation and no sex before marriage. Rather than trying to scare people living away from each other when its already so wide spread. Its very important to help couples living together to have strong healthy relationship.......